Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Full Time Ministry Comformation2

Was doing my devotion today and prayed about full time ministry again. This time, He spoke to me through John 6:29.

It says '29 Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."'

Again, trust in the Lord.

It seems like He is telling me, "I will provide everything." Which reminds me (as I'm blogging this) of :

Jeremiah 29:11
'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

Ok, that's another double answer. That's 4 relies to 2 questions in total.

Full Time Ministry Comformation1

Shearn had just graduated from his IT degree and was looking for a job. He decided that he would be in full time ministry.

That sparked off my interest, especially when I talked with him about what Susan told him when we went for an interview at the church office last wednesday (1 Aug 07).

As we spoke he mentioned that ppl like me and him will need to have a paper qualification in theology to be in full time ministry (so that ppl will be more open to us, just like any other job outside). If one want to go into ministry in worship and music, then an additional music qualification (degree, masters, etc) is required.

I had a little doubt of going into full time ministry because of 3 things things that I wasn't quite sure off:
  • Is really calling me into full time ministry? (or izzit just my own thoughts?) - tho i more or less knows the answer.
  • Music courses are not cheap. Where do I get the money?
  • What about duration of study? Music takes 3 years, theology take 2 years...another 5 years of study?

Well, i've been praying and asking God about the 1st. His answer to me through my devotion was from John 6: 1 - 15. Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand. Verses 11- 13 spoke to me the most:

" 11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.
12 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." 13 So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten."

I understood this as to have faith and trust in Him. Because he will provide. Just like how impossible it was to feed 5 thousand ppl with only 5 small barley loaves and 2 small fishes, He did!

Kinda reminds me of how the Red Sea parted only when Moses stepped in the sea. The sea didn't part before he stepped in but only when he did put his leg in.

So, yes...I think God is telling me to have faith and trust Him above all else and He will provide.

I think He solved 2 questions with 1 answer. Coz the answer relates to the 2nd question (concern). And if the 2nd is solved, that means the 1st is a "Yes".

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Spreading God's LOVE

Dear Lord,

I thank you for bringing Amanda (Wong Voon Yen) in my life and the experiences that we've had thus far. I know that she has some problems with friends and hurts from past experiences which is probably why You brought her to me. Knowingher for the 3rd week, things are now clearer to me about her familiy and own background.

Lord, she is in desperate need for Love. Your Love which she have yet to know and I pray that You will show her Your love through me or other people the way You planned. Speak to her and touch her heart O Lord, that she may someday know you and accept You as her personal Lord and Saviour.

And Lord I thank You for using me to be part of Your mighty plan - to spread Your love to her. Father, despite what she had just told me, help me not to be affected and to contiunue to offer the same love that You gave with help from the Holy Spirit. Help me not to be affected in my studies, that I may continue to move on according to Your plan.

L ord, I ask that You strenghten me and give me that reassurence that if all else fails, You will be there for me. That You will never forsake me.

In Christ Jesus' Name,

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Me =)

IT Mafia Gang
*Don't mess with us, or we'll make sure you'll never go online again!*

mE & Pastor Andrew

S/Sgt. Chan Kian WIng & Sis

The Mighty Band of Brothers

STudy Group (Kononya)

S/Sgt. JoN


Was at Sarah and Leigh's wedding dinner yday. Was lookin forward to it as usual coz i knew Esther was gonna be there. Things were ok in the begining until we came to thr near end of the dinner - the dance floor opens.

I don't really mind dancing nor am i any ashamed to. Just that i may not be as good coz i wasnt exposed much 2 it...dont practice it in clubbing places either. Things were still fine until i saw yee meng dancing with esther...ok, it's not so bad so, things went on...then after awhile, they were hugging each other in a dance, esther had her arms around yee meng's waist n @ times around his waist n vice versa...

Ofcourse, my heart broke at the sight of that. Some1 whom i respected and once considered an example was with the person i *love. It's very disturbing and it hurts to look at sucha a sight. They were so close...

Yah, esther told me "No" when i asked her the other day if she wants to be with me. With reasons such as " i prefer to be single for now, not confined to only 1 person...dad will probably nt like it n etc etc...". She told me to move on but i didnt. I had to wait...better still, i was thinking of waiting for 2 more years after waitng for 1 already. So, i had it...i don't know of what she said the other day was just to cover dat she's with/ wats to be with yee meng rather than me...i don't know...haih...

So what are You tellin me God? Move on? I wanted to ask why did u allow me to meet n fall for her in the 1st place...but i know i should be asking "now what?" rather than "why?". Tell me Lord, Now What??? Pls tell me...i desperately need this answer...forgive me for compromising my priority which should have been You, rather than her...

*Frankly, i don't even know if i'm "in love" with her, or do i just "like" her.......i find that though it's heartbreaking, it's easier to let go this time...though it affects me, but now i can put more thoughts in my studies and other things which i'm involved in.

Maybe i should look at it this way...now that i'm unoccupied, i can look @ other girls? I mean, i know i've been doing that but maybe to work and know then better without a barrier this round?

I met up with Shermaine 2day @ church...we hugged n she kissed me...i mean, even a really close friend can do that to me...i dont need a gf to hav that happening...maybe it's the same for esther n yee meng's case? I don't know and i dont wanna get hurt anymore...i'll just stay put of it for now...mayb i'll stay like this till next year (Jan 2007) and see how things go...which reminds me, i'm only 20! Aiseh...relax la...still gt time. Like what i told esther myself, "if God intended us to be together, no matter what happens, we'll still be together in the end". Otherwise, no matter hard i try, it just won't work...I'm sure whoever it its in the future, i'll love the woman God had planned for me to be with!

Btw, Shermaine told me dat it's more fun to be single for now...probably coz u get to go out with whoever you want and not worrying bout anything even if you go out with a diffrent person the next round...hahaha. Oh...she also told me that i'm a nice guy =) shouldn't be a prob for me to find someone...but ofcourse, i gadda find the right person =P

Hey! Thanks Lord! You just answered my prayer! Haha..thanks alot...love ya..well, just have one last prayer to make:

Lord, help me to open my eyes to see and realize the friends around me who cared for me and loved me...help me not to look at plunging into any relationship with someone else until and unless You tell me, "JoN, she's the one". Help me to be patient Lord, and not to be envious...
Thank you Lord for being there for me. You didn't forsake me when i needed you the most. My Best Friend. Also wanna thank you for bringing me the right songs at the time i needed them and the message thats in them...i cant thank you enough. Lord, forgive me for not putting You first in my life...Help me to put You First in my life again. Lord, come back into my life, and intervene...Help me to listen to You and study Your word regularly...in the name of my Best Pal, Jesus Christ i pray, Amen.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Food for Thought

I played drums for service 2 day...it was great. Probably the best experience since i started playing 4 my sis. Previously, i'd rate it as 6 (from 10 as max) or below. Today was 8/10. I don't know if it was coz the songs were more familiar, or coz i liked the songs or coz the jeff was the bassist.

Then, i went for lunch with sis n parents @ imbi and it turned 2b frustrating and troublesome one. Coz mom went nuts again over sis meeting n takin 2 aleks. She didnt like that. So, she left the table n went 2 sg. wang by herself without any cash (dumb rite?). Nway, we continued wit lunch coz we gt sick of her atics...after which, we managed 2 get her back in da car n got back home.
Nway, that wasn't the point here.

After which, i went 2 sri petaling community center for a hi-tea. It was meant for the pesta committee members as a thanksgiving and appreciation thingy. I was looking foward to it coz i knew Esther was gonna be ther. I've been meeting quite a number of pleasent looking girls and the funny thing was, no matter how pretty, hot or cute they might be, i still find Esther the most attractive. I've been thinking bout it after the event when i was waiting in the car 4 my parents 2 dress up 4 dinner.

Was it coz other girls weren't as cute, or was it coz i don't know their personality, or izzit da fact dat i jz can't forget bout her though she asked me to move on? I mean, she's gt a twin sister...she's slimmer, has almost the same features, single, friendly...what else? i dunno...coz don't really talk to her...everytime i c Lydia, was coz Esther was around. But if you ask me what's so attractive bout Esther, frankly i cant tell you much...let me give it a try:
  • she's cute (the way she talks, the way she is...)
  • she's pretty in my eyes
  • i see her as an equally capable woman as i am (may be better)
  • we have lots of things in common in terms of opinion and way of thinking
  • she's got good figures though she gained weight
  • some how, she still looks cute after changing her hairstyle (was a lil diff 2 accept @ first) n gaining weight.
  • she's sweet

i don't know man...and this is the danger of it. Loving/liking someone without knowing why. I don't even know if i like her or do i love her...i go to extends of sacrificing my own needs, time and even compromise my own priorities 4 her...am i in love? When ever i deal with things that has 2 do with her, she becomes my 1st priority...but ofcourse, if i had to choose between 1st KL BB n her; or God with her; i'll say 'No'. But then again, like i said, i may compromise these things...this is not good at all man...coz i know for a fact that my very 1st priority should be God. Nothing else..but here i am...compromising...deng...

Then again, i know that she dosen't have time to think of all this...probably, it never crossed her mind...haih...

Dear Lord, is this what you planned? Please show me how to overcome this...only you know best.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Bad Mood...

Today seem to be a great day in the early hours of it. I thought that having the chance to get some rest at home coz class ended earlier and I need not go for UTAR Ball meeting was a relief. But things cropped up after I decided to finally take a late afternoon nap. My Dad woke me up with my phone in his hand and my 2nd sis was on the other end of the phone...she asked me bout what mom was angry about. I was blur...I thought that I was just one of those troublesome act of hers and I ignored and went back to sleep. The call came again, and this time being fed up, I woke up and went to my mom's room to find out what all the fuss was about.

It appears that she saw sis' sms to me on her phone that read "Don't expect so much. I don't earn a million!" That pissed her off. She thought that it was meant for her and the argument started. I wrestled with her for the 1st time. She was complaining about how she sacrificed her own income for everyone else (duh...like other didn't). I mean all she ever does is sit at home, watch tv, eat, sleep, and complain. What kind of mom is that?!

She was also complaining bout how we ignored and avoided her...Eh! hallo! pls la...who wants to get near you when everytime ppl get near u, they endup doing something 4 u? Whats the best part was the task can be done herself. Ppl around her were like maids to her...sometimes, better still , she come into my room just to ask me to put the cup she drank inthe kitchen when she's heading the same direction!

I can tell you she's just not a good example to her children...to me, most of the time, she failed as a mother. The best part bout her is that she suggests negative solutions to solve the problem like "you know, when i go away from the house/die then everyone will be happy". Man!!! i just hate that. Like that statement will ever help the situation. Sometimes i just wonder if people her age ever change... or rather, if she'll ever change that attitude of hers. It's just so demotivating and discouraging to hear. Is it that difficult for older people to change their views and character?

I've been wondering how come i dont have much control over my student loan compared to others i know...why is it ppl can manage and use their own loans when i cant. Why izzit ppl can put their loans into investment and get returns while i only hav 400 bucks 2 spend each month?

The answer was coz i had to use that money to support the family indirectly while others dont have to. Putting the money into investment may mean that the sum is frozen for a month b4 it can be withdrawn...by then the family would hav been on serious need for money and it's not available...haih

Lord, teach me how can i manage all this...show me your solution to all this...pls help me Lord...in Jesus's name, Amen.

Listening to: Unto You - Patrick Leong