Food for Thought

I played drums for service 2 day...it was great. Probably the best experience since i started playing 4 my sis. Previously, i'd rate it as 6 (from 10 as max) or below. Today was 8/10. I don't know if it was coz the songs were more familiar, or coz i liked the songs or coz the jeff was the bassist.

Then, i went for lunch with sis n parents @ imbi and it turned 2b frustrating and troublesome one. Coz mom went nuts again over sis meeting n takin 2 aleks. She didnt like that. So, she left the table n went 2 sg. wang by herself without any cash (dumb rite?). Nway, we continued wit lunch coz we gt sick of her atics...after which, we managed 2 get her back in da car n got back home.
Nway, that wasn't the point here.

After which, i went 2 sri petaling community center for a hi-tea. It was meant for the pesta committee members as a thanksgiving and appreciation thingy. I was looking foward to it coz i knew Esther was gonna be ther. I've been meeting quite a number of pleasent looking girls and the funny thing was, no matter how pretty, hot or cute they might be, i still find Esther the most attractive. I've been thinking bout it after the event when i was waiting in the car 4 my parents 2 dress up 4 dinner.

Was it coz other girls weren't as cute, or was it coz i don't know their personality, or izzit da fact dat i jz can't forget bout her though she asked me to move on? I mean, she's gt a twin sister...she's slimmer, has almost the same features, single, friendly...what else? i dunno...coz don't really talk to her...everytime i c Lydia, was coz Esther was around. But if you ask me what's so attractive bout Esther, frankly i cant tell you much...let me give it a try:

• she's cute (the way she talks, the way she is...)
  
• she's pretty in my eyes
• i see her as an equally capable woman as i am (may be better)
  
• we have lots of things in common in terms of opinion and way of thinking
• she's got good figures though she gained weight
• some how, she still looks cute after changing her hairstyle (was a lil diff 2 accept @ first) n gaining weight.
• she's sweet

i don't know man...and this is the danger of it. Loving/liking someone without knowing why. I don't even know if i like her or do i love her...i go to extends of sacrificing my own needs, time and even compromise my own priorities 4 her...am i in love? When ever i deal with things that has 2 do with her, she becomes my 1st priority...but ofcourse, if i had to choose between 1st KL BB n her; or God with her; i'll say 'No'. But then again, like i said, i may compromise these things...this is not good at all man...coz i know for a fact that my very 1st priority should be God. Nothing else..but here i am...compromising...deng...

Then again, i know that she dosen't have time to think of all this...probably, it never crossed her mind...haih...

Dear Lord, is this what you planned? Please show me how to overcome this...only you know best.